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05/03/2010
Where must I look
Why did I turn my back
I look around and I see unfamiliar faces
Yet the face that makes me happy
Is the face that I put the blame
Which path leads me to a better place
A place where shame cannot shelter
Where is the guiding beam of light
That grants illumination of the mind
I am to bear this burden
Yet the fault is not mine nor his
But ours which we failed to nurse
-
Peace was ours yet we chose war
Moments of purity was within grasp
Like a petal it was plucked from our souls
We created our destiny and destiny tore us apart
We were good as two
But as one we failed
The bigger picture still lingers in my mind
Yet the small became the priority
Should forgiveness be asked over and over
Should there be another chance given
Will these wounds heal in time
Before love itself expires?
06/03/2010
My heart was true
That much he knew
Our love was strong
Where did it go wrong
My mind was clear
Yet we lived in fear
My faith never wavered
It’s yet to be savoured.
07/03/2010
I long to be nineteen again when all
I wanted was to chase away my virtues
At the prime of life when childhood fancies
Gave way to adult proclamations
It was a time when beauty was skin-deep
And the pace at which I gambled with life
Never seem to take its toll
Self-indulgence surrendered to no one
And I chose to asphyxiate self-control
Time came and went
With every action unaccounted for
I had no shame but lessons were learnt
And the campaign for truth was linear
Now all that seems true seems careless.
07/03/2010
New faces
Adorn my screen
Too young or too old
Nothing in-between
-
No one left
He’s far and away
Past mistakes
I’m left to pay
-
Hope fades as
The tide rolls in
I ask myself
To whom have I sinned?
08/03/2010
The thought of him cramps my stomach
It is a pain that bears the mark of a martyr
Yet I have been less than self-sacrificing
When all I did was point the finger
-
This is it for us as a singular
We as plural live lives apart
Him in the country and I in the city
Both forgetting where to start
-
That is life but it’s not the end
The past has no place in our future
With heart and mind given over
What we destroyed we shall nurture.
08/03/2010
My wits stray from sunlight to shadow
While I remember the trip to Vienna
I wipe the sleep from my eyes
And I think of Good Times together
-
I take a deep breath and exhale
The bitter morning air fills my chest
I clean up the mess that is my home
But fail to clean myself at best
-
The tune of a fading voice remains
Terre de Hermes lingers in my bed
I change the sheets but to no avail
The scent has settled in my head
-
Drifting between sunlight and shadow
His memory keeps my bed warm
Days are too long while nights give way
To a sky where thunder clouds form.
09/03/2010
I am most ugly
When dull thoughts fill my mind
In the dead of night
The mind stirs with one eye blind
I talk to no one
But everyone hears my cry
Nowhere to turn
I set myself up for the fall
Emotions wane as
And I confuse shock with euphoria
I pray in his name
For the sweet thrill of surrender
My voice dissolves
As I try to make things clearer
Grant me one wish
So we could all sleep easier.
10/03/2010
I owe him more than he does to me
Since lies were told both ways
Each and every time we called a truce
We tried to remember better days
-
As I emerge from the wreck
I stand by this little prophecy
That time will be my healer
To be single without the urgency.
10/03/2010
All this talking
And to what end
Fist-less fights
Around the bend
-
We turn a blind eye
But the damage is done
Another verbal joust
We become undone
-
All this pain
Without sense or reason
Our moods swing
Like the changing season
-
My heart is tender
And so is your pride
Where do we go
To put our fears aside
-
Love is blind
Or so they say
Love is the reason
You should stay
-
But we rushed a love
That could not be
This is our curse
That much we agree
-
In time we shall see
What fate will bring
This song now ends
At the onset of Spring.
11/03/2010
If and when we meet again
Will it be anti-climatic
Will we be familiar strangers
And laugh at being over-dramatic
-
If and when we kiss again
Would it make us coy
Our minds once read as one
Where speech needed no voice
-
Indeed I hope we meet again
When both our manners are calm
For who have not made mistakes
Let those raise their palm
-
So let us meet each other again
For our lives are fused as one
Even as friends I would not mind
Just say the word and I will come.
20/03/2010
Almost a month
And the same charade
Now is the time
That peace is made
-
Where do we go
To move ahead
This pit where I lie
Has become my bed
-
I need to know
Who and where you are
I feel you near
When you are far
-
There comes a time
When our time must end
Only to begin again
As we become friends.